Fear of Success

I really love it when you readers write my blog for me. Much of today's discussion comes from the comment on yesterday's blog (thanks, Liz!) For her complete post, click on the word "comments" after yesterday's entry. But for the shortened version:

Its easy to be an optimist when you start a new adventure...dieting, new sport, new relationship, new job...but once you begin, if your expectations aren't met (immediate weight loss, prowess, love, etc) you begin to wonder if the work the new adventure requires (because they all require work!) is worth it. Even a new haircut...you can convince yourself that you'll feel beautiful/more lovable/ more...whatever with the "perfect hair" and when you don't...the disappointment is palpable.

What if you lose that weight, get that job, play that game...and you still don't get whatever it is you really wanted? (money, love, friends...) the doubt is killing and the result worse.

You need to make changes for yourself, not for the expectation of others response to your change. Usually no one else has the emotional investment in your new thing that you do, and they will therefore never give you the response you feel it is worth (because losing 10 pounds IS a big deal...to you. But to your friends it warrants a "hey, good for you...lets talk about Brangelina's new kids...or whatever)

Liz is right (of course): The goal itself is usually a front for something else you want even more deeply. As you set your resolutions this year, therefore, ask yourself, "What ELSE do I want to see change if I succeed?" And how will you handle it if that deeper need is not met?

Losing weight brings you health, mobility and opens you to the possibility of living a fuller, more radiant life. Is this what you need in 2009? If so, weight loss is an appropriate resolution. If not, then you need to look to other sources and solutions to get your needs met.