Handling Your Saboteurs (Part 2 of 2)

Friends and family can undercut your healthy choices. Sometimes their attacks are straightforward—hurtful comments about your character, discipline and size. Sometimes the sabotage is subtle—“You don’t need to go walking—why not come shopping with me instead?” How do you fight back when they are loving you to death?

First of all, forgive them. Nine times out of ten, they care about you and don’t mean to be hurtful or get in the way of your progress. That tenth time? They are fearful and jealous. After all, if you lose weight, you might “change.” You might not be as emotionally dependent or submissive any more. You might become fitter, happier, more attractive than they feel. These insecurities are not your problem to solve.

There are four magic phrases you can incant in almost every situation. For these phrases to work, you must avoid at all costs giving any additional explanation. If your loved one doesn’t respond appropriately, repeat the magic phrase until he gets the point:
“No, thank you.”
Clear, simple, straightforward. You will not eat a second piece of pie. If your aunt insists, say it again. Don’t try to explain that you’re on a diet. She’ll tell you “you look fine!” or “Another piece can’t hurt!” Presto, you’re in the middle of an argument. Stick with “No, thank you.” It’s inarguable.

"I’m sorry you feel that way.”
Use this when you hear negative feedback. If your friend says you’re “uptight” because you won’t take smoking break, you have a reply. This is not an apology, it’s just a statement of fact.

“I appreciate your concern.”
Pull this one out when you get unsolicited advice. Yes, your boss has read three fitness bestsellers and she means well. When you say, “I appreciate your concern,” you are conveying gratitude without agreement. Don’t explain your plan for weight loss—she doesn’t really care. She just wants to be heard.

“I’m going for a walk now.”
When emotions run high you have the right to regroup. When it’s too personal, too painful, too much pressure take ten minutes to yourself—and take care of yourself while you are doing it.

Your path to wellness is personal and private. When you stand firm in the face of the social obstacles, eventually those around you will respect your privacy and admire your progress.

P.S. Sound familiar, Grant County? Regular readers of my column in the Grant County News often get a preview of upcoming columns right here in the Radiant Monday blog!

P.P.S. Grant County: New weight loss classes at the fitness center at DRE are opening now--starting 4/15 and running for the next eight weeks from 4-5p at only $64 for the class. E-mail me if you're interested!