Love the One You're With

Another chocolate-heavy holiday is staring us down. What are your expectations? Are they really high (your spouse will send roses to work, chocolates on your pillow and take you to Pigall's)? Are they really low (you'll watch FTD commercials on TV while eating Chunky Monkey)? How do you expect to experience LOVE on Thursday . . . and whose responsibility is it to love you?

I can answer that. It's YOUR responsibility. If anyone should be caring for you this week, it's you. If other people in the world get the privilege of loving you, well, good for them. But you are the one who knows what makes you happy, and you are the one in charge of getting it.

I know that isn't romantic. I know it would be perfectly lovely to sit back and let the rose-scented love wash over you. I also know it would be lovely if that Chunky Monkey were calorie-free. I'm a big fan of fantasy--I believe our dreams are the signposts towards true goals.

But if your reality doesn't meet your fantasy, then take a minute to mourn the gap between the two. Finished yet? Good. Now, figure out something concrete that you can do to boost your mood, make progress towards a goal, or make you feel satisfied with a job well-done. Eat an apple before you open that pint of ice cream. Take a walk at work and count all of the drive-thrus you pass on by. Close your eyes and breathe deeply in the brisk, cold air outside. Call your best friend.

These are real acts of love towards yourself--and that makes them better than daydreams.

Happy Valentine's Day,

Keri